Fedora 

Love her with such recklessness, you feel like a drunk teenager sneaking out to steal your moms car

Love her so hard the only thing on her mind when she’s away, is how quickly she can get back in your arms

Love her with such loyalty, the old Mafia Dons would tip their hats in respect, knowing you would die to protect her heart

Love her with the passion of a champion poker player in the finals, willing to fold all the games, lay down his hand & show her all of his cards. 

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Church

My love for you obsessive, knowing that you are MY person

My mental state being brilliant insanity,  but when you’re not near my insane part tends to worsen 

Breathing you in deep while your fingers run over me

Connecting us like words in cursive

Skin to skin, all your passion only for me You become an alter, in need of my worship 

Miscommunications causing our fights 

Both of us so damned stubborn 

Fighting with you is fighting myself, your tears falling, my biggest aversion 

Still I crave your taste on my lips, burning so sweet like the finest bourbon

No need to insecure pretty girl, in my love for you I will remain by your side & determined. 

Time machine

A little crooked & a lot old

Her presence whispered wisdom & strength from a different time

Vintage grace in steps now taken

I thought her gloriously exquisite, an invaluable, treasured find

Her old weathered hands were so beautiful

A literal time machine, created from surviving life’s design

She turned to look at me with eyes so bright, captivating me with their shine

She told me she was tired, then gifted me with her brilliant smile

She told me each wrinkle held a story within, times of her life when she laughed but the best stories were made from times when she cried

She winked as she said I’m 93 young one & pretty bad ass

I’ve basically won at life

Able

Most days what I set my mind to do, I’m capable

All day, my hunger grows for the flow of the words making me insatiable

Some days, depending on who you ask, whether I’m a genius or insane is debatable 

Every day, people’s stories I am told, they find me relatable 

Yesterday, all the words finally purged from my brain, always inevitable  

Any day cruelty takes my breath, the weight of the pain terrible 

Today the rush of the words flowing paper& pen, the feeling incomparable

This moment, thoughts of wordage & your smell makes the day bearable 

Amnesia 

When people come in need 

Don’t be self righteous, pointing out their wrongs 

Folks at times, get beat down by life. Forgetting their light is still alive & strong 

You have to help them remember 

The equation is really quite simple 

For them to again rise in strength, keeping their light from going out 

Continuously feed all their good qualities 

Smother any & all of their self doubt

Insatiable 

Up early drinking coffee, the old man smiled knowing his 20 something grandson would come to talk about the girl without delay     

Since kids he had been her world, still the boy refused to admit she was a deep need he craved 

He came in and sat down, wearing his frown like a crown 

Complaining the girl was just too complicated & intense

 Bright enough to burn the sun, yet underneath gray waiting on storms to commence 

The old man smiled & with soft eyes said indeed the girl was a beautiful fury

Like an ocean on fire at sunset, her love could never be tamed 

It was that moment the boy knew he would always love her, longing to be warmed by her flame 

The old man laughed as the boy let go, surrendering his love 

The girl reaching out to claim

Baptizing him in her waters, he wanted to drown forever 

Never to be satisfied with just rain

Golden

You call me lazy while I’m the one working

You say I’m no count yet I find you lurking

You say I’m crazy which leaves me smirking

You say I’m bad but my creator says I’m worthy

You judge me without knowing the real story

You call me rude for not wanting to hang out. Your lack of substance I find boring

You call me weird because in my own head I’d rather be exploring

You say I’m not clever yet my answer you’re always imploring

You say I talk too much, shared silence only for who I find golden 

Your negative words transparent, showing the pain inside you’re holding

You bring storms on the weak

Be careful, my light is ready & always burning

I can feel what you hide, you think you’re not deserving 

Never finding an ounce of peace until you walk in love on this journey

Eviction

Mom we are breaking up

I think enduring your abuse since childhood is quite long enough

You cut small pieces from me

You only took a little at a time, your scarring done so discreetly

My loyalty so strong for the womb I once belonged

I had no clue your methods would damage me so completely 

I was 7 in the kitchen with my little brothers and there was only a small amount of butter left

I put it all on my piece of bread

You said I was greedy, I only thought about myself

You told me all bad people were selfish & I was one of them now

I felt shameful tears flood my cheeks. I will never be selfish again kept repeating on a loop in my head

I felt the seed of self hate plant so deeply

A child’s heart torn into shreads

I locked the memory in darkness. No words or ever an apology. Both left forever unsaid

Trying to build my life with only broken pieces

A mom that only wants to harm me, you never seem to need a reason

I excused your abuse for years, you have literally become a danger to my health

You showed fake love to use me

You ignore me in order to scar me 

You are always doing it in stealth

I was driven to the brink of madness 

I am breaking up to salvage what remains of my personal wealth

This time my actions are done with absolute selfish intent. I’m saving what’s left of me & giving myself needed approval

I choose to believe I’m worthy of all good things 

Mom, I’m really sorry but that must begin with your permanent removal 

Poker

I used to think, life dealt me a shite hand of cards 

People biologically encoded to love me, instead dealing only in scars 

As a child, never understanding 

As an adult, emotionally marred

Growing up, trust issues strong. I think I will always feel in some way deficient 

I used to set myself up, knowing how mean you are, but at least I got your attention

Determined to be your opposite, never to be anything you predicted 

Well played, always saving face in public. Your scars are casually inflicted

Until I walked away 

Little stabs to the brain

Was all that you gave 

Everyday, emotionally bombarded

I have found that the deep pain, the drop to your knees to pray pain

Comes from being completely disregarded

Scotch 

Silently breaking, I sit here & think 

Warriors are taught not to cry

Seeking relief, no scotch left to drink 

Folks always seem to be harming, blinded to the carnage left behind

I feel the pain of their choices, eating them alive from the inside 

Wish you would hurry & get to me, can only be warmed by your light 

The door opens, my eyes on you, your arms wrap around me so tight 

Words leaving whispers of fire 

I feel lips on my neck gently say, ” if enough weight is added my love, even the strongest will finally tire

Lean on me whenever it happens, you can use my strength for a while 

In me you never see weakness, understanding the weight at times just too heavy 

Although my shoulders are strong, you will always be right along

Each time the pain overruns the levee